


Judgement

by Southwitch



Category: Far Cry: New Dawn
Genre: Deputy/Captain Friendship, During Canon, Family finding each other, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Carmina/Captain, Multi, Other, POV First Person, Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 07:17:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southwitch/pseuds/Southwitch
Summary: I only saw her eyes in passing once or twice, usually by accident. But when I did, I could see the person deep behind them begging to claw free, if only for a moment.





	Judgement

She’s quiet, I guess that’s meant to be expected, given the circumstance. After what she went through I can’t imagine I’d wanna talk much either. People don’t really want to talk about her, save for Carmina. So I get the occasional secondhand story about how The Deputy single-handedly saved Hope County, only to watch it burn to ash. The things she did I could never dream of, even after meeting Joseph and the…whatever it was that has changed me in ways I still don’t understand. Everything feels like it’s spiraling, Rush, the Highwaymen, everybody here is looking to me just like they did to her.

Sometimes the weight of the expectations put upon me feels like it will crush me at any moment.

One day, she came to me suddenly, practically without warning. I’d been asleep in a back corner of Prosperity on a clear night. For all of the space that we’d carved out together, I still really didn’t have a space of my own. The bunker that my family had been stuck in for years after the bombs afforded a growing four year old no privacy. It’s something I’ve craved for myself ever since. Sleeping outside wasn’t exactly privacy but it was close enough for now.

Yet when I woke, she was hovering over me, the Judge. She offered me breakfast right away and watched me eat. It was…weird. Almost unnerving. But then she led me out of Prosperity, I supposed that she needed me to assist with some hunting for New Eden and with her help, I’d become a pretty decent shot. We walked, with her I always walked, it felt respectful. New Eden, for all the stories of its former incarnation, had been mostly welcoming so long as I was respectful of their ways. So we headed out to a field, stalking a group of deer for a few miles until they settled down to have lunch.

Two arrows flew through the air in unison and struck down two in the group. The rest fled but we had what we needed. It always took a bit to process the animals but I was quickly learning to be fast about it. Either way, it’d be a while before we could get the deer back anywhere. We found an overturned log and went to work.

Idly I always had wondered about the woman behind that mask, I’d only seen a little of her face once or twice, usually in the accidental moments where the mask fell off or when she needed a drink of water. She was always quick to hide her face again, like she was somehow ashamed of her own appearance. In those brief moments though, she looked familiar, through the haunted look in her eyes there was still someone inside that was trapped and begging to be freed. She’d seen so much and I’m sure, if you looked at us both side by side, we’d look the same.

We didn’t talk much…I talked but I never really expected anything back.

“You know, I was born here.” One day, I began. “My mom gave me up and I was adopted by a family in California before…you know.” It was true, I knew next to nothing about my biological parents and given the state of things, I likely never would find out. I was fine with that, my parents, my real parents, they gave me everything they could. They kept me safe after the bombs dropped, they brought me back out into the world and made sure I could survive in it. I was maybe 13 when a group of bandits came through and…well thankfully Rush found me before anybody else could.

“I tried to find my adoption records once, back in San Francisco. No luck, the building had burnt to the ground and it wasn’t like the computers were still operational. I still don’t know why, thought it might be cool I guess…it’s just been on my mind since Rush…you know…since the Twins…”

The Judge, she shrugged and didn’t seem to care much. I don’t know why I thought that, but it was hard to guess her interest when I couldn’t see her face. Sometimes it was easier to speak to the Judge just because of the simple fact that she wouldn’t try to fix anything, she wouldn’t offer more condolences, she’d just listen…maybe she wasn’t even listening and maybe that made it even easier to say what was on her mind.

“Did you have any family before…everything?”

A grunt came in return.

“I mean…I guess that counts as a reply.” I shrugged a little and chuckled in a small attempt at levity, I could never tell if anything I said was going over well with her and boy oh boy did it make me nervous sometimes. “Lemme guess, the only family that matters now are Joseph and everybody in Eden’s Gate.”

In the midday sun I could faintly see her eyes through the mask and they certainly narrowed as she plunged a hand into her deer to gut it. Probably a thinly veiled threat. Joseph’s chosen or not, I was still just a person like anybody else. And a person that could be taken out by an arrow the same as the countless Highwaymen I’d taken out just the same.

“Gotcha.” I bowed my head and continued my work in silence for a long time. The afternoon was going to give way to a sunset within the hour. It was time to begin the long walk to Eden’s Gate from there. At least it was a place I could count on being able to stay for the evening. We walked, staying off the main roads to avoid any highwaymen that might think picking a fight would be a good idea.

The people of Eden’s Gate were grateful but when I went to lay down for the night, The Judge stopped me and pointed towards the massive gate out. “But why? It’s late and I’m exhausted…I’ll leave early tomorrow morning and I’ll—“

But she stopped me with a more forceful grunt, pointing me away like a scolded child. I would’ve looked to others for support but most of them were busy preparing to go out to hunt and Joseph was with Ethan in the main church. “Fine I’ll go…I guess.” I’d never understand the Judge. But I obeyed, it was gonna suck but at least I could see if I could find a car or something to get back to Prosperity a little after midnight if I was lucky.

The Judge followed after me, even after the gate closed behind us. No car for me…I guess…just a really…long walk. Exhausted, we trudged back the same way we came. “I don’t understand why you followed me. I can get home by myself.” Sure I was young but I was no child, Carmina could move freely through the valley and even she was younger than me. We often went together and we were fine. Under the cover of night, I’d be nearly undetectable if I was careful.

She grunted and I kept walking, a little more than frustrated. “Just be careful, things are unpredictable walking out here at night.” I knew better than her, she spent so much time cooped up in New Eden, what did she know of this valley anymore? Turns out she still knew it like the back of her hand and was able to lead better than I was but my pride wouldn’t let me admit to that.

We’d made it halfway by the time I was fed up. I didn’t want to walk anymore, I didn’t want to feel the presence of another person looming over me all over again. There was an abandoned Highwayman car off the side of the road, it was as good of an opportunity as any. I spun around and looked her in the face. “Please go back to Eden’s Gate. I’m gonna go grab that car and I’m gonna speed this up. I’ll see you around.”

But the Judge continued to follow me and when I tried to get into the car, she grabbed my shoulder. “What the hell?! Get off of me!” I grunted. “Let me go you mute—“ I stopped myself before I said anything rash, but not because I wanted to but because the car itself was beeping. A trap.

_Ah shit._

Before I knew what was happening, The Judge had grabbed my collar and practically threw me across the road and down a ridge that led to a river with more strength than I realized she had. She dove after me in the hopes of escaping the explosion in time and she did, but the force of the blast knocked her mask clean off and into that river. This time of night the demon fish were likely out. There was no retrieving that thing now.

I scampered back up the hill as fast as I could. “Are you alright?!” I was frantically pulling out a medkit to treat any injuries but she was merely singed and probably rightfully bruised, maybe more bruised than she’d ever let me know of. But she was frantically covering her face with her hands, grunting for her mask. “It’s in the water, there’s no way we can go get it now.” Through her fingers, I could see wide brown eyes in a panic. She nearly leapt to her feet and slid down the hill. Sobbing, she tried to enter the water to grab her mask but I held her back. “No! You’re not going in there! It’s dangerous!”

Weakly and fragile, for as panicked as she looked, her voice was meek and drained. It was the first time I’d heard her say anything…ever. “P-please—st-stop!” She begged me and I was so taken back that I let go accidentally. The Judge dove into the water and desperately tried to get to the bottom to search for that wooden mask. But the demon fish had other plans. They were at her the moment she was too deep. For once, I pulled out my gun and shot in the hopes it might at least scare them away. The Judge was fighting them as best she could but there were two, then one after a few shots rang through the air. Then none after a struggle under the water.

The Judge was gasping for air as she pulled herself from the water. She was sobbing and unable to catch her breath. The medkit came in handy after all. She had bites all over her shoulders and her arms. “I-I’m gonna pull this off, I have to bandage you up.” I tried to warn her, she was shaking so hard that it was hard to even get the coat part of the way off. She only wore a simple undershirt beneath that heavy coat. What I saw underneath was more jarring than any bite mark.

**“Wrath”**

Hastily tattooed on her chest.

**“Sinner”**

Carved into her back.

Countless markings and scars all over, like someone had used her as their personal pincushion for years. Probably more years than I’d ever be able to comprehend.

I didn’t exactly know what to say. So I didn’t say anything for a long time as I carefully disinfected and wrapped each bite up.

“Did…Joseph do this to you?” I finally stammered out. Her tears had dried and that same haunted look had replaced all panic, it was just as unsettling.

“T-they all d-did.”

_Oh_

“I’m sorry….”

“I..w-wanted…” She struggled with her words, she’d been hearing people speak for years and it seemed like it was the first time in that many years that she’d heard herself speak. It must have been terrifying to her. “T-to spend t-the day with you.”

Her brow furrowed. She was trying, but even for her, whatever she was remembering was clearly too painful.

“Look you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to….I appreciate the thought but…let’s just get you patched up and back to Prosperity.”

“I-can’t…n-not t-them….” Her voice was soft but no less desperate. “I…c-can’t l-let them s-see me.” Her words struggled more the more that it dawned on her what that would mean.

Them? It took a moment for it to dawn on me that she meant Nick and Kim and everybody that she’d known back them. As the Judge…she could hide but…without her mask…she was just the Deputy that they’d lost. There was no hiding anymore.

“Hey…I promise. I won’t let anybody see you, we don’t have to go to Prosperity tonight. Let’s just find somewhere safe okay?” I was slow to stand and even slower to help her up. She looked so broken without that mask to seem so imposing. Nobody would think her to be the trained killing machine that they wanted her to be. Especially Joseph. “We can make you a new mask before you have to go back anywhere…or we’ll come back tomorrow and find it. But right now…it’s late.”

The Deputy seemed to be resigned to the fact that she’d lost and reluctantly followed me to an old outpost. There were a few people there but we were able to duck into a small building slightly away from the others. Part of her seemed hollow. Had that always been the case? Or was it only now? The look in her eyes would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I helped her settle onto an old couch and I grabbed a sleeping bag. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out, okay?” I wanted to be reassuring but it was clear I wasn’t reaching her. “Accidents happen, Joseph will understand if—“

That set her off, she shot up in a panic, panting and looking about. “Joseph.” The word fell from her lips with all of the fear of someone that had just dropped a bomb. “Penance…my p-penance…”

I joined her on the couch and took her hand, giving it a small squeeze. “For what? You saved everybody…how could you need to-to repent or…?”

“F-failed them…all of them…” She sputtered, gripping her hair, it was long and growing matted. When was the last time she’d even tried to brush it? She looked like a madwoman struggling to speak but I wouldn’t let that stop me.

“How did you fail…? They’re all alive…they’re happy…they have families and you did everything you could. Just because you couldn’t predict the end of the world doesn’t mean you failed them…you know, Carmina tells me stories about you all the time. She admires you to this day. Why would she want to remember her godmother if you were a failure?” I bit my lip and sat across from her. She curled up. Haunted or not, in this moment, watching her with tears rolling down her cheeks…there was something familiar in her face. “Hey…I don’t know what Joseph will do…I kinda don’t care. Whatever he did to you…whatever happened between you two…doesn’t matter right now. Breathe with me for a minute…alright?”

“J-joseph will—“

“What? What’s an old man going to do to you just because your mask fell off? Anything he does to you…I’d give it back to him tenfold if he’s going to punish you for saving me.”

There was silence. Everything that this valley threw at me I had taken by the horns and I had faced against any and all odds. And looking at this broken woman before me…I wasn’t about to let this stop me, whether we needed them or not.

“We’ll find it. Just try to rest while there’s a few more hours left in the night.” I offered her a small smile, she gave me nothing in return. It was to be expected. But she did lay down and I was asleep before I had seen her fall asleep too. Maybe it was better that way, there was no sense in worrying over something that couldn’t be helped.

For the record, the next morning we did go back. I got her mask out of the river, it’d thankfully got caught on the rocks and hadn’t gone far. We parted ways there. But there was something about that night. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget it.

 

* * *

 

 

After everything…with New Eden and Joseph gone, the few remaining members moved to prosperity and we began setting up an extension to house the new people, the Judge included. It’d been several weeks but she finally tracked me down. Late one evening after dinner. As far as anybody knew, she was near comatose, hardly responsive at all to much of anybody. I couldn’t blame her for that. Losing everything like that would be unimaginable. Whenever I saw her, I couldn’t hide the pity on my face.

She put a hand on my shoulder and led me out to the landing pad just outside the gates. By the time I’d sat down on the blanket she’d set out, the mask was suddenly on the floor. She hadn’t dropped it. It sat in front of us, it seemed almost silly, this piece of carved wood had been her life and she just dropped it like it was a piece of lead she’d been carrying for ten years or more.

“It’s over.” The Judge spoke, her voice still soft as she addressed me. She sat next to me and looked at me. “Am I…f-free…?”

“That’s up to you buddy.” I laid back and stared up at the stars. It was one of the best things about this place, the stars here were better than anything you could get in San Fransisco. The Judge joined me and stared up, eventually electing to shed her jacket. “The world is your oyster. Without a Father…there really can’t be much of a Judge can there? But…yaknow…there’s a lot of people here that wouldn’t mind having a Deputy back.”

For a moment, she seemed thoughtful as she stared up at the aurora that so often graced us late at night. Her eyes closed and a single tear fell as she exhaled a long, shaking breath. The tear got caught in her small crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes. “Deputy…my name…m-my name is Danielle…I-think I forgot….”

“I can’t blame you.” I shrugged back. “My name’s Frankie. It’s nice to meet you Danielle…do you remember anything else?”

“Some things…my family…t-things I w-wish I hadn’t remembered.” She exhaled again and it was a relief almost to see her even try. “Grew up a county away. P-played baseball in high school…got in trouble and adopted my baby daughter out…joined the force and got my life together. M-moved up f-fast and well…now I-I’m here.”

My brow furrowed for only a moment. I didn’t want to think into anything that might have been that big of a long shot. “That’s…well…maybe more will come the more you can get back into your own skin.”

“My own…skin?” She couldn’t really have lost even the little phrases like that, could she? Maybe she’d just forgotten.

“You know…get back to being yourself…or whoever Danielle wants to be in this place.”

I could tell the thought was frightening to her, like she couldn’t trust herself with that much power after all this time. “And we’ll all be right with you. Me and Carmina and Nick and Kim n’ Grace and everybody…we’ve got your back.” I watched The Deputy staring at the stars and I could see the gears turning. She’d get there, given time. There would be no undoing the last seventeen years of her life, but at least now maybe there was moving forward.

When Kim saw us come back, was stunned and I really didn’t get why. Probably because the Deputy wasn’t wearing her mask anymore. But Kim was quick to hug her, followed by just about everybody else. Danielle was in tears, unable to process what all of these people were even doing. When Carmina finally approached, I took her hand and brought her closer.

“Dep, meet your goddaughter.” I smiled hopefully. Danielle cupped the younger woman’s cheeks and looked her square in the eye, through her tears. She looked like she was studying every last inch of this girl’s face.

“I-was there when y-you were b-born. My d-driving almost g-got us killed.” Both of them were crying then and somehow I felt like an outsider in that moment. I stepped back graciously, but only after Carmina squeezed my hand, as though she was telling me it was alright. They were all a family and it was good to see them reunited.

For everybody it probably seemed like she’d just come back from the grave and in a sense, she really had. In the past weeks, I’d been struggling to figure out what all of this had been for. The cost that it had come at. Now that Hope County was saved, maybe it was best to move on and get back to San Francisco. Maybe I could regroup and see about trying once again to help people get started back up.

They all had someone to protect them, they didn’t need me anymore, not after that reunion. I’d be okay with leaving, I thought. With things really settled and the Highwaymen scattering to the winds this place would be safe to keep rebuilding without me. I’d talk to Roger about it another day, maybe he could sneak me out without anybody really noticing.

I never ended up having that conversation. I wanted to for a long time but eventually, I found reason enough to not walk out on everything that had happened. Eventually I led an effort to get Falls End rebuilt with Danielle. She spent a lot of time with her friends and slowly but surely, she started to seem almost like herself again, at least in their eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

One day, it was too damn hot to be building, so Carmina and I got in a car and drove off to a quiet watering hole in the mountains for the day. It was nice to get to relax for once, it felt so rare and wonderful to feel almost entirely safe out in the woods by ourselves.

“Okay so tell me.” Carmina was floating on the surface of the spring as she spoke. “Do you see it? Like, the weird resemblance? Because mom keeps freaking out about it, I don’t see it.”

“Me either. Maybe it’s just a hero thing. Anyways there were so many people in the world, there have to be hundreds of babies in Montana that were born and adopted out. That’s just math.”

“It’d be freaky though, right? Maybe you got your savior genes from her! That-that’d be the coolest thing! A mom and daughter both saving the same valley all on their own! But kind of together!” I had to laugh at that, I’d never heard of a more ridiculous notion.

Carmina was ridiculous. Cute…wonderful but absolutely ridiculous. “Please don’t go spreading that theory around. It’s not like we have gene testing anymore anyways. What’s the point of getting worked up about something that doesn’t matter. She’s never been a mother to me. I had parents…twice. It’s never worked out for me in the past. It’s better if we never know.”

My friend did not appreciate that answer but she at least kept her mouth shut. “Fine. But I’m just saying, it’s a little weird that you still make my mom’s jaw drop when you’re around each other.”

“Can it.” I splashed her, officially throwing her off her pleasant float on the surface of the water. We ended up in a splash fight that day but I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said. Maybe in another lifetime we might’ve found each other under better circumstances. I didn’t care if I had all the proof in the world. It was better this way.

_It had to be better this way._

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy it's been a really long time since I've written anything like this. Forgive me for any errors, I had an idea and I just wanted to get it out there after finishing New Dawn and having a really emotional reaction to finally saving Hope County. I think I wrote this in like 3 hours so it's probably not great but I appreciate anybody who made it this far. Thanks for reading!


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